10 January 2013

Worrying and Sparrows

Tuesday was Gabriel's first day of Mother's Day Out.

I woke up that morning with my stomach in knots.

Seriously... one would have thought it was my first day at "school."

I'd been struggling with our decision to put him in MDO since we first signed him up.  On the one hand, I knew it would be good for both of us -- me having a break from a needy toddler and G. having social interaction and stimulation.  But on the other hand, I was not ready to hand my son over to someone else for five hours, two days a week.

He's only two, people!

Drew asked me if I was okay; I shook my head and started crying.

"What if he hates it?"

I had visions of me dropping off a screaming kid, trying to juggle a second on my hip, while explaining his potty training situation and the teachers not hearing a word over Gabriel's cries.  And then Hallie would start crying, because she doesn't like it when Bubba cries and because she might be next... and she hates the church nursery.

But Drew assured me that everything would be fine and then he prayed over me and Gabriel.

And you know what?  Everything was fine.  I had nothing to worry about.

In fact, when I picked him up, he didn't want to leave.  He tried to take me and Hallie to the indoor playground, finally agreeing to go home only when he realized he was coming back in two days.

Gabriel's art from his first day.  He told me it was yucky.

I so needed him to have a happy experience the first day.  For me.  To be able to let go.  I think letting go is one of the hardest things to do as a mama.

But God reminded me through this experience that nothing is too small for Him.  I am pretty good at remembering to talk to Him about the big stuff; I don't think I've ever thought a problem was too big for Him to handle.  But I am certainly guilty of assuming that things are too small for Him to bother with.

And y'all... that is a mistake!

So, friends, I'm here to tell you:  no worry is too small to take to our Heavenly Father.

Jesus assures us that God knows when a sparrow falls from its nest.  A sparrow!  And then Jesus says,
"So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:31

I've always read that verse and thought, "Well, duh."  But now I see it in a whole new light.  If God knows any time any bird falls to the ground; if He has time to number the hairs on my head; surely He has the time -- interest -- to listen to my seemingly insignificant cares.

And y'all... that just makes me want to weep.  The God of the universe, who created everything out of nothing, cares for what I care about.


1 comment:

  1. Your wedding was the first time we ever left the kids with a stranger outside of church. I was just sick with worry the whole night, and i too cried on Michael's shoulder before leaving them. We returned and of course they were fine and had a great time with the other kids. It was a good lesson for me to let go for an evening!